Russian Jokes!

What do you call one Russian?>> A drunk
What do you call two Russians?>> A fight.
What do you call three Russians?>> A Party cell

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are alone on an uninhabited island. They catch fish for food and suddenly catch a Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill one wish for each for his own freedom:
The American: "A million dollars and to go back home!"
The Frenchman: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!"
The Russian: "Tsk, and just when we were getting on like a house on fire... Three crates of vodka and the two fellas back!"

A rich Chukcha buys a truck and brings it to his tribe to show them the "technological miracle". People crowding around it and then the old chief appears. He examines it from the all sides and then looks underneaths and sees the exhaust pipe, "a male one, eh" states the old man.

Abram cannot sleep, tossing and turning from side to side... Finally his wife Sarah protests: "Abram, what's bothering you?" / "I owe Moishe 20 roubles, but I have no money. What shall I do?" / Sarah bangs on the wall and shouts to the neighbors: "Moishe! My Abram still owes you 20 roubles? Well he isn't giving them back!" Turning to her husband she says: "Now go to sleep and let Moishe stay awake!"

taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_jokes

Q: What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes?
A: A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.

A dejected Communist Party candidate trudges home after the polls close. "So, Marek, how many votes did you get?" asks his wife. "Two," he responds. She slaps him hard across the face. "What was that for?"
"You have a mistress, now do you!!?"

Doctor: This medicine is for insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.
Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?

A Soviet citizen had died.
'Well,' he was asked in heaven, 'which would you rather, the communist heaven or the capitalist hell?'
The Soviet citizen smiled. At least he was allowed a free choice. And of course he chose the capitalist hell.
A year went by and the citizen applied to God to be transferred to the communist heaven.
'By all means,' said God, 'you may transfer.'
The citizen moved to the communist heaven where the inhabitants crowded round him and asked: 'Well, what is it like in the capitalist hell?'
'It's exactly the same as here as far as I can see,' says the citizen. 'Even the work is the same. They're pumping water too.'
'How many hours do they work?'
"The same as you do.'
'Then why did you want to come here? It seems there's no difference between here and there.'
'Oh-h-h . . .' says the citizen, 'there's a very big difference. There you have to work from eight a.m. to eight p.m. whereas here first they organize a party meeting, then a conference, then they hound you to another meeting, then it's smoke time and by then the pump could have broken down . . .'

At a May Day parade, a very old Jew carries a slogan, "Thank you, comrade Stalin, for my happy childhood!"
The Party representative approaches the old man. "What's that? Are you deriding our Party? Everybody can see, when you were a child, comrade Stalin was not yet born!"
"That's precisely what I'm grateful to him for!" the Jew said.