Military etiquette
Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, komrad!

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We have met the enemy and they are ours!


1932HRS Moscow

Seals vs. Green Beret

Two Seals boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, A Green Beret got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Seals. The Green Beret kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Seal in the window seat said,"I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the Green Beret, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Seal picked up the Green Beret's boot and spit in it.

When the Green Beret returned with the coke, the other Seal said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Green Beret obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Seal picked up the other boot and spit in it.

The Green Beret returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Green Beret slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Green Beret asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?"


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Present!

alakdan

joke for the day, c'sar gins?

1948 04 june in good 'ol chicago

Sex Under the Sea

The following was over heard from a Naval Analyst:

Let's put it this way, anyone who's crazy enough to want to live in a submarine is welcome to do so as far as I'm concerned. And don't worry about illicit sex if women are added to crews -- the only place there'd be enough room for anything more than a pat on the ass (unless you're both yoga masters) is the bridge, and then the watch standers would have to pretend you weren't around.


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checking in >>>>>

a vacant torpedo or missile tube might also work but you'll risk being prematurely ejaculated when a threat suddenly appears

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0835 in pattaya

hahaha...checking in as always!

0944HRS Beijing

A group of Sergeants and a group of Air Force Officers take a train to a conference. Each Officer holds a ticket. But the entire group of Sergeants has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The Officers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant Sergeants will finally get what they deserve.

Suddenly one of the Sergeants calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the Sergeants jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the Officers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the Sergeants slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.

For the return trip the Officers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the Sergeants didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the Sergeants announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the Officers race to a toilet and lock themselves in.

All the Sergeants leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last Sergeant enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Officers and says: “Ticket, please!”

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High military ranks
When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough.

"That's the only way to command respect in the Army," his friends said.

So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth.

"Show me a sergeant and I'll show you a dope," Reggie shouted.

No sooner had he spoken than a brawny, battle-hardened figure appeared.

"I am a sergeant!" he bellowed.

"I am a dope," whispered Reggie.

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Air Force Approach: Eagle 13, turn right to 330.

Eagle 13: Roger 330.

App: Eagle 13, I've been working since last night, Will you do me a favor?

Eagle 13: Affirmative. Go ahead.

App: Down below on your right, you'll see a base house with yellow roof near the lake. That is my house. I had a fight with my Wife, and I'm worried she might take it out on my Harley. Do you see a Harley Davidson near the house?

Eagle 13: Negative komrad. Instead I can see a Ryder's truck


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laavelyyy, c'sar gins.

1800 in Sydney, waltzing out . . . .

2155 dancing back in at the Fort.

anyone for a few icy ones ?

no?!?!?!?

ahhh -- preparing for the games tomorrow eh. happy hunting then, komrads!

Very Important Colonel
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when a PFC knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the PFC to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, komrad."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, komrad," the PFC replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."



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1526 Maribojoc